Speak Up. Show Up Lead: The Lies Leaders Tell Themselves

The Lies Leaders Tell Themselves (And How to Stop Believing Them)

Leadership isn’t just about managing people, projects, or deadlines—it’s about managing yourself first. The truth is, many leaders don’t fail because of external pressures. They fail because of the lies they tell themselves every day.

In this episode of the Speak Up. Show Up. Lead. podcast, I break down three of the most common lies that keep leaders stuck—and how to push past them.

Lie #1: “I Don’t Have Time”

We’ve all said it. But here’s the truth: you always make time for what matters.

When leaders say, “I don’t have time,” what they’re really saying is, “This isn’t a priority right now.” That’s not always a bad thing—but if you constantly hide behind this excuse, you’ll never step into growth opportunities.

Leadership Lesson: If it’s important, you’ll make time. Resilient leaders lean into hard things, even when it’s uncomfortable, because growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones.

Lie #2: “If I Want It Done Right, I’ll Do It Myself”

This is the lie of control.

Yes, you might do it best. Yes, you might do it faster. But if you never delegate, you’re robbing your team of growth and yourself of freedom.

Leadership isn’t about doing everything—it’s about empowering others to do their part. When you delegate, you’re not just offloading tasks—you’re building trust, creating accountability, and shaping the next generation of leaders.

Leadership Lesson: Your way isn’t the only way. If you don’t trust your team now, how will they succeed when you’re not around?

Lie #3: “They Already Know What I Expect”

Here’s a truth I learned in the Army: there’s no such thing as an implied task.

People are not mind readers. Whether it’s your team, your spouse, or your kids—clear expectations and consistent follow-up are essential. Assuming people “just know” is a recipe for frustration, conflict, and burnout.

Leadership Lesson: Clarity is kindness. Say it, repeat it, and follow up. Accountability builds trust.

Why These Lies Matter

The lies you believe become the rules you live by. If you convince yourself you don’t have time, you’ll stop growing. If you believe only you can do it right, you’ll burn out. If you assume others already know, you’ll live in constant disappointment.

I grew up poor, in a home marked by abuse, and I was told for years that I wasn’t good enough. If I had believed those lies, I wouldn’t have served 18 years in the U.S. Army. I wouldn’t be running my own business. I wouldn’t be hosting this podcast or writing books.

Resilient leaders challenge the lies—and replace them with truth.

Final Thoughts

If you want to lead effectively, you have to:

Make time for what matters.

Trust others through delegation.

Communicate expectations clearly.

These simple shifts can transform your leadership and your life.

📘 Want to go deeper? Grab my book here: Speak Up. Show Up. Lead: A Veteran’s Story of Grit, Growth, and Leadership from the Ground Up on Amazon at:

https://www.amazon.com/Speak-Up-Show-Lead-Veterans/dp

🎧 Listen to the full episode of the Speak Up. Show Up. Lead. Podcast on Spotify at:

https://open.spotify.com/show/35mh4LtuPPwxPfJXrWvwNn

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