Leadership LIVE: Leading Without Pretending

Leadership LIVE: Leading Without Pretending

In leadership, one word comes up again and again: authenticity. We all know the phrase “fake it till you make it”—and while that may work for building short bursts of confidence, it doesn’t work in leadership. Why? Because people can smell pretense a mile away.

In this episode of Leadership LIVE, JJ Hardy (Army Veteran, leadership and resilience coach) and Chris Pienkowski (corporate leader and former leadership coach) break down what it truly means to lead without pretending.

Why Authentic Leadership Matters

When leaders put on a mask—pretending to know it all, trying to please everyone, or hiding from challenges—it always backfires. Teams notice. Trust erodes. And eventually, performance suffers.

Authenticity builds trust. When your team knows that your words align with your actions, they follow with confidence. Authentic leaders don’t pretend to be perfect—they model resilience, integrity, and a willingness to admit mistakes.

The Pitfalls of Pretending

JJ and Chris call out the most common traps that keep leaders from being authentic:

People-Pleasing – Trying to make everyone happy doesn’t make you a good leader; it makes you ineffective. Leaders must sometimes make the hard right instead of the easy left.

Hiding from Problems – When challenges feel overwhelming, some leaders avoid making decisions altogether. That’s not strategy—it’s fear. Strategic pause is one thing. Avoidance is another.

Borrowed Personas – Many leaders mimic someone else’s style. While influence is natural, copying others never works long term. Eventually, the real you shows up, and inconsistency kills credibility.

How to Lead Without Pretending

Chris and JJ share simple but powerful ways leaders can stay grounded in authenticity:

Know your values and lead from them.

Be consistent—your actions should match your words.

Stay transparent and vulnerable—openness creates permission for your team to do the same.

Model integrity—say what you mean and follow through.

Lead by example—your people will follow what you do, not just what you say.

Growth Without Losing Yourself

Authenticity doesn’t mean you stop growing. In fact, growth often feels uncomfortable—and that’s good. But growth should never mean pretending to be someone else. Adopt best practices from leaders you admire, but filter them through your own voice and values.

As JJ puts it: “How you start is how you should finish. If you’re faking it, people will know. But if you’re being real, people will trust you—flaws and all.”

Final Thoughts

Leadership is not about perfection. It’s about honesty, resilience, and the courage to show up as your true self. Pretending might get you short-term approval, but authenticity builds long-term trust and influence.

If you want to lead better under pressure, communicate with purpose, and grow where it matters most, authenticity is the key.

🎧 Listen to the full episode on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1FMfm2IK5g2fn4sIrdV1hR

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@victoryleadershipcoaching/featured

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